Former UFC champion Ronda Rousey admitted on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today that she thought about killing herself in the immediate aftermath of her knockout loss to Holly Holm this past November. Her UFC 193 loss in Melbourne, Australia ended what was an undefeated streak.
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It was so bad that Rousey was transported to a local hospital and received medical attention.
"Honestly, my thought in the medical room, I was sitting in the corner and was like, 'What am I anymore if I'm not this?'" Rousey said. "Literally sitting there thinking about killing myself. In that exact second, I'm like, 'I'm nothing. What do I do anymore? No one gives a s--- about me anymore without this.'"
She admits that she contemplated suicide. "Honestly ... I was sitting in the corner and was like, 'What am I anymore if not this?'" she said. "Literally sitting there thinking about killing myself."
However, she says that she got through that moment because of her boyfriend, UFC heavyweight Travis Browne.
"I looked up and saw my man, Travis, was standing there," Rousey said. "I'm looking up at him and was just like, 'I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive.'"
Rousey, now 12-1, is a former Olympic bronze medalist in judo. She said in December that she wanted to go back to the ring and fight against Holm.
"It's always crazy going into every fight," Rousey said. "It's always so much chaos, so much going on. Things weren't perfect, they never are. One thing that was different was it was my third title fight in nine months. I don't think anyone has even attempted that before. I don't make excuses. I've fought in worse conditions, but I think one thing that was different was I felt tired -- but I've been more tired."
Holm, now 10-0, is scheduled to defend her 135-pound title at UFC 196 on March 5 in Las Vegas.
"I did a lot of thinking on, why did this happen?" Rousey said. "I do believe all the best things come from the worst things. The worst things result in the absolute best things. I was trying to think, what is the reason for this and what my actual purpose is -- and maybe just winning all the time isn't what's best for everybody.
"I felt like maybe my role is, everyone has their moment of picking themselves off the floor. I've gone through several of mine, but no one had ever seen me go through it. Maybe I just needed to be that example of picking myself off the floor for everyone. Maybe that's what I'm meant for. I really do believe I'm still undefeated because being undefeated is a choice. Everybody has losses in their life, but I choose to always be undefeated."
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She has returned to the gym and would like to fight at some point in 2016. UFC president Dana White believes Rousey could return in November.