One day very soon there will be an iPhone app to help you regulate and organize every aspect of your life. Today we take another step towards that terrifying future with the brand new 'Touch Karma' app for the iPhone and iPod Touch. The app, from Karma World LLC, was designed to let users keep track of the good and bad deeds of their friends and family.
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Parents will be able to use their iPhone to judge their kids with greater accuracy than ever before. This app keeps track of naughty and nice deeds, and allows children to accumulate good karma points. Parent's can set a good karma goal at which the child will be rewarded, and the kid can use his phone or iPod to see how close to a given goal he is.
So far, this sounds like a pretty nifty app. It's also got a piggy bank on it, so the whole theme of this thing seems to be to encourage good behavior in kids, and to teach them how to 'save up' in order to achieve a given goal. All of that sounds laudable enough, but then things take a turn for the creepy with the 'Karma for Friends' feature.
"Calculate who your best friends are with 'Karma for Friends'. This mini-app helps keep tabs on friends' actions by assigning positive or negative karma points, from -5 to +5. By the end of the week/month/year, users are able to determine who their best friends are."
Fantastic. Now every time I hang out with an iPhone user I'll have the warm, comforting knowledge that they're probably judging everything that I do and marking my statistics on their smartphone. Thank goodness Karma World finally gave us an application to measure the quality of our friendships.
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Look folks, I know that having all this computing power at your fingertips can be intoxicating and exhilarating. I understand the need to use your techno-gizmos every possible second. But seriously, not every aspect of life needs to be measured and stored on a phone. Anyone who uses an iPhone app to pick their best friend should really consider getting their heads examined.