For most things going retro means 50s or 60s. How about going back to the Stone age? ThinkGeek of all places offers now the so called Homo Sapiens Caveman Kitchen Tool.
The club is made from Sandstone and can be used officially for grinding a pestle, grating garlic or ginger, or knife-sharpening. It is sure also handy to kill a gold fish or defend yourself.
This stone-age kitchen tool measures 2.75" x 2" x 6.5"h and is even dishwasher safe.
The Homo Sapiens Caveman Kitchen Tool is selling for $39.99 on ThinkGeek.