Jezebel's Tracy Moore has a few message about men saying they're pregnant when they don't face death while carrying the child.
Mila Kunis appeared on Jimmy Kimmel with a clear message: “Men, you’re not pregnant.” Men can sympathize but they “don’t have a watermelon-sized human squeezing out of their lady-hole.”
And it’s Father’s Day weekend, so controversy popped up quick!
Jezebel’s Tracy Moore voiced many woman’s opinion by backing up the actress. “We’re pregnant” does not equal “We’re expecting.” No, a man is not carrying a child in their stomach for nine months.
Pregnancy does not render men “immobile, dependent, vulnerable.” Nor has it “been used as a reason to not trust them, to outright murder them, or to simply refuse to give them good jobs and/or raises.”
Moore spills the truth in a long rant titled “Mila Kunis Is Right: Dudes, Stop Saying 'We're Pregnant'.”
Parents expect a lot of positives, a lot of shared experiences, but chance of death through gestation is not something a man personally experiences. He doesn’t feel the worry and heartbreak because everything he does may potentially kill the being sharing a body and nutrients.
Being supportive is awesome.
But a man can’t confuse caring about well-being and support through “constantly acknowledging the differentness of your woman's experience and risk in pregnancy.”
The writer’s honest, brutal is a response to Aaron Gouveia’s TIME magazine piece, “Yes, Mila Kunis, WE Are Pregnant.” Why is she angry? Because once again, a man must insert himself into the actions of a woman’s life.
Gouveia’s use of anecdotal evidence as proof thoroughly annoyed Moore, a woman who parents with er husband but acknowledges that man can’t be pregnant.
In an era of co-opting female experiences during dangerous life events, “some women are very touchy” according to the male writer.
The overall sentiment many men (and some women) find to be cute by saying “we’re pregnant” on a cute announcement to send out, or “we’re having a boy.” But the actual breakdown doesn’t work.
He poses the question that “if you have a supportive and doting partner, is this really the hill you want to die on while quibbling over semantics?” This comes after equating cheering on a winning sports team to being an active participant in carrying the baby.
But Moore points out it’s about Basking In Reflecting Glory because the actions “associate yourself with winners, because you want to be a winner.” Her husband helped create the life, but he doesn’t have the stretch marks or experience the postpartum depression in any form that comes from pregnancy.
They’re simply not comparable situations or equations. This isn’t about inserting a male view in something that’s “a critical [expletive] distinction” in the female body. The best way to support your significant other, in any form, is to not co-opt the pain and struggle she goes through in order to ‘be part of the part’ and bask too much.
Being caring doesn’t mean you get to carry.
Mila Kunis’s message is true. And clear.