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What To Watch When Ignoring The World Cup

If you're not a fan of the FIFA World Cup, here's a list of sport comedies to watch instead.

Jul 13 2014, 5:01am CDT | by

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What To Watch When Ignoring The World Cup

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What To Watch When Ignoring The World Cup

So what do you do if you don't care about the World Cup?

Okay, never mind the fact I'm kind of in love with Amanda Bynes' portrayal of Violet and Sebastian in She's The Man. Or Jonathan Brandis as Matthew/Martha in 1992's Ladybugs.

(I will not admit to renting Ladybugs enough that I broke the store's VHS copy and we had to buy two: replacement and my own. And you can't make me.)

Well, if you're me, you make a top 10 list of sports movies that make you giggle. Turns out the 1980s and 1990s were the height of sport comedies and feel good moments.

Even though silently cheering on Germany because you're marrying a German, soccer isn't my thing.

Instead I'll be watching some other sports movie. But which one? Here’s a possible list of my top ten choices.

 

 

10. Lucas (1986)

Okay, this is more of a dramedy than a pure comedy, but it's got to be mentioned. I mean, you've got the beginnings of a major group of actors. Lucas Haim (R.I.P.), Courtney Thorne-Smith, Charlie Sheen, and Winona Ryder all star in the movie about a young kid who shouldn't be on a football team but tries anyway.

Lucas (Haim) is a nerdy kid from the wrong side of the tracks who looks to fit with the popular crowd. It's not always an easy thing since his crush Maggie (Kerri Green) is in love with the football captain Cappie (Sheen). Meanwhile Lucas's best friend Rina (Ryder) has her own unrequited issues.

The only thing I could find was the trailer, but really, the frog gigging is the best scene after the make you tear up last scene.

 

 

9. Wildcats (1986)

So you wanna be a coach, Goldie Hawn? Good luck! Molly McGrath grew up as the daughter of a famous football coach and wanted to be just like him. The only place that'll even give the opportunity is in an inter-city high school and her ex-husband isn't thrilled about this at all.

Not to mention the players who don't respect her affluent and racial background-especially after her ex comes around. But it doesn't stop the team and coach from bonding in a lot of ways. Especially when battling her former school (Prescott) on the championship field.

Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson appear, along with a guest cameo by LL Cool J-way before NCIS: Los Angeles.

The player might turn a quick buck, but who wouldn't wanna smack the schmuck?

 

 

8. Teen Wolf (1985)

The 1980s were a thing of beauty in the sports rom com genre. Michael J. Fox was known as Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties) and Marty McFly (Back to the Future). Talk about the ultimate heartthrob.

And in Teen Wolf, he played a shy baskeball player named Scott Howard. After being invisible, finding out he's a werewolf was a boon for his popularity. And helped his skill sets. But really, the best part is the John Travolta looking suit wolfed out Scott wears among the Footloose-looking outfits.

(Oh, and the 1980s says 'you're welcome' to MTV since their current TV adaptation is a ratings hit.)

It's like Vincent Price and Peter Boyle joined together to create a brand new Monster Mash dance.

 

 

7. The Game Plan (2007)

Who knew The Rock was funny?

Playing a star quarterback who finds out he's got a daughter when she shows up on his doorstep. Joe Kingman's arrogance knows no bounds. Talking in third person? Only works for one Maxine Shaw (thank you, Queen Latifah). Watching the pair learn to live together provides endless entertainment. Always read the labels, Joe.

And doesn't everyone want a bedazzled jacket? Or to teach their dad just how difficult ballet really is. Nothing like seeing a quarterback in tights, right? Love this movie. Definite contender.

Walking? So overrated.

 

 

6. Bring It On (2000)

We cheer, and we lead, we act like we're on speed! Hate us 'cause we're beautiful, well we don't like you either!

Sing the opening cheer in Bring It On and pretty much every millennial will cheer along with you. It's cheertastic watching Torrance (Kirsten Dunst) and Missy (Eliza Dushku) work out how to not cheat like the last Toros cheer captain, Big Red (Lindsay Sloane). Sometimes you get a cheating boyfriend. Or choose to use the same dance instructor as other teams.

Plagiarism isn't optional, Toros. Just ask the Clovers about that. Isis (Gabrielle Union), captain of the Clovers, and Torrance has some pretty good scenes and the last 10 minutes of the movie is definitely not worth missing. Just remember to beat a Buffy down or two.

Missy is bank without the rupt.

 

 

5. Space Jam (1996)

Okay, so technically I didn't start liking Space Jam until I was in my 20s. But I did start to like it. Mostly because I loved the Looney Tunes. Growing up, I loved Sylvester. Still hold a special place in my heart after my adventures at Six Flags Over Georgia in my teen years. But I mostly love the fact Lola Bunny teaches the men to not underestimate the women in the room.

What I did I just say, Looney Tunes? Never tease the underdogs!

 

 

4. Little Giants (1994)

When Kevin O'Shea (Ed O'Neill) leads the Urbania's boys premier football team, the Pee-Wee Cowboys, his young brother Danny (Rick Moranis) finally gets tired of watching the underdogs picked on. Who hasn't felt that way?

Moranis's rag tag Little Giants team includes the best player in town, Becky "Icebox" O'Shea (Shawna Waldron), who gets booted from the Cowboys being a girl. When new kid-in-town Spike Hammersmith (Sam Horrigan) chooses Cowboys over Giants, the battle line is drawn.

And taking out Junior (Devon Sawa)? A very, very bad plan. Icebox drops the pom-poms and delivers serious punishment. Plus, foaming at mouth against your opponents by use of antacids? Pretty good scare tactic

That's gotta hurt.

 

 

3. Cool Runnings (1993)

Cool Runnings is loosely based on the 1988 Winter Olympics where the Jamaican bobsled debuted amid ridicule but managed to survive. Locations included Jamaica and Calgary in Alberta, Canada. What can go wrong when you have John Candy playing coach to a bunch of unexpected bobsledders?

The Jamaican national bobsled team of Derice Bannock (Leon), Sanka Coffie (Doug E. Doug), Junior Bevil (Rawle D. D Lewis), and Yul Brenner (Malik Yoba) have no idea what it's like to prepare for the deep chill of Alberta. And Coffie popping out of the ice cream truck is probably one of the funniest scenes. Or the gif you always see of the four of them figuring out how to sled together in a bathtub.

Saw it in the theaters when it debuted over 20 years ago and I still love it. A comedy of errors makes this one of my favorite 'oh, I need to laugh' movies.

Who needs to win when there's ice involved?

 

 

2. The Cutting Edge (1992)

What happens when an ice skater that just manages to miss the gold meets an ice hockey player's cut from the game he loves? You get The Cutting Edge. Kate Moseley (Moira Kelly) and Douglas Dorsey (D.B. Sweeney) fueled my teenage years for love and adventure. I wasn't even into hockey then-except for The Mighty Ducks.

Both the verbal sparring and constant one-upmanship completely made my day. Plus, well, you get the class "toe pick!" line that you can haunt your fiancé with forever and ever because they've seen the movie a hundred times with you out of love…and fear of appendages. (Okay, maybe that's just me. I will admit.)

Just never get Kate mad.

 

 

1. The Mighty Ducks (1992)

The list would be incomplete without The Ducks. I mean, the Anaheim Ducks were originally called The Mighty Ducks when Disney owned them. Any movie that inspires an expansion team and trilogy of movies can't be all bad. Plus, hello. Who didn't want to be friends with Fulton Reed? Or know how to triple deke?

Another rag-tag, flailing team gets a new coach thanks to DUI community service coaching while learning the value of teamwork. Features Emilio Estevez, Joss Ackland, Lane Smith, and Joshua Jackson.

Before Pacey Witter and Peter Bishop, there was Charlie Conway.

Quack, quack, quack.

 

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